Try to catch your child being good (making a good choice, following directions, focusing on homework, showing kindness to a family member, etc.) and encourage them for it.
You may even occasionally reward it with a “voucher” for “Stay up late one hour” or “Dinner is Your Choice,” “Breakfast in Bed.”
Try to find 30 seconds each day to completely pay attention to something your child is saying, not looking at your phone or TV, or cleaning. Face your body to them and make eye contact. Respond with validation (“That really bothered you today.” “You sound so excited about that.”)
Find time to do something fun together once a week, or every other week, as time permits in your schedule, that is completely engaging with your child. A walk on the beach, kicking a soccer ball, reading a story together, playing a game, doing a craft, cooking, etc.
Validating what your child is feeling when they are upset is important, and doesn’t mean you are giving them permission to have bad behavior. Feelings aren’t wrong, yet actions can be. Get down to their eye level: “You are so mad that balloon popped. That was disappointing.” Then take a pause to await their response.